We've got trees we've yet to live in

I didn't finish it, but I did come up with a pretty good outline. I am going to bring it with me to school tomorrow to work on it.
EEe! I just checked my syllabus, and the weather. I got two very nice results: sunny, and chocolate lecture.

Duncan was over today for a teeny bit (my 6 yr old cousin remember) and he grabbed my mothers sheep that sits on a rocking chair (its sorta 'cutesy' but not really.) and calling it a 'mouse' (its clearly a sheep) said "he's committing suicide". That kid! I tell you, he knows exactly what he is saying and he had that 'mischevious' look he so frequently gets. He wanted a response, but none of us gave it to him, other than saying 'its a sheep duncan'.
Its times like these I'm happy I'm not a teacher.


Things I often forget:
>how the outdoors makes me happy and giddy. Life comes back to me. If I drove, I'd live in Metchosin. -I know this, but I never remember fully until I go outside-
>Music, is almost as good as the outside. Especially the shins.
>sugar makes me sick :/

Heh. Procrasta-natron strikes again. My love for folk music has been pretty much ingraned in me since birth. My love for celtic music pretty much fits into that. There is something to be said for accoustic guitar and pennywhistles and a great collections about my love of being an island girl. My aunt who 'is a newf' swears great big sea is the 'horriblist' thing ever, but it fits in nicely between the pop/rock genre and folk. A gateway band if you may. It sort of fits in my music choices like sherbert in a gourmet meal, working welll unless you get brain freeze, or in my case, hurt your injured ankle while vaccuuming and singly loudly
I'm a rover , seldom sober
I'm a rover of high degree
Ans when I'm drinking, I'm always thinking
How to gain my love's company.

I'm making carrot muffins, with rehydrated raisins. Although, if they are rehydrated, does one call them raisins or grapes? My grannie always called them 'plumped' raisins, which I am sure makes sense, but in that sense, should we call raisins, dried grapes?! Who knows really.
Realtors just left, and are apparently coming back tomorrow, and it just makes me all fidgety and anxious. I'd feel better if I knew where I was going! Give me some time to sort this all out, get caught up in my classes (in which, I'm behind -again!-) re-establish a social life which has been on hold since last april, due to hospitals, divorces, jobs, school et cetera and hopefully by January I'll be a functioning memeber of society once again. Currently, it feels like I'm a burden on the whole system; preaching life with a green sheen, melting away under pressure, who cannot sing the canadian national anthem completly in english and who completely botches up the french part.
Before I forget, my six year old cousin, wanted to look 'goth'. Meghan put black eyeliner on him, painted his nails black and spiked his hair. It was amazingly funny. I just wish the camera was charged. Next time, I'll get a picture I swear. But, he is *very* blonde, and *very* smart, which equates in my family mischevious.

Breathe.
"Let your life speak"
~Kate

I got paid 12 dollars for breathing today. My trainer thought it'd be a good idea for me to do a presentation on how to change names in care, and then gave me two and a half hours to prepare. Right Peter, I needed 2.5 hours... for a10 second presentation. I was so bored!
I would rather be doing something than sitting somewhere and doing nothing. I look forward to going back to school, I miss my hectic insanity stress! And the ugly floor of clearihue, and the library, and meeting rene before school in the library, and secret sneaking out of classrooms mid lecture to get coffee (what!? I never do that!, no really I dont!) v.g's and a little more consistancy to my life. I'd also like to see people again.
My plan for the week is to go buy some essential oils, most likely mandarin or lavender because they are both calming (I wrote clamming! eww! shellfish!) and some new pants, because no pants day is in may, and that month is quite a ways away now. I also need to get my stuff together for the fall, text book wise, notebooks, and a stack of pens I like. Studies have been done that prove that people who use pens that they like do better on tests.
It freaks me out that I am by (most) standards an 'adult' right now. Yeah, sure guys. The girl who decided that the state "Mo" could be oklahoma, if they spelt it backwards, and then made up a song to it.

During a stupid break in stupid training, we played a game. the first one in two weeks.
Okay, so usually I hold my tounge around people because they either won't understand me (and think I am stupid or insane) or they wont understand my joke.
Game: Jepordy
Question: What is the oldest profession in Canada?
I yelled prostitution! before I had realized what I had done. because thats work appropriate. but it was fine. they all laughed....
(btw, its fishing, which I knew)
Also this was the same day I was ranting about golf courses being a blight on the environment, and how Canada is one of the worlds top growers of hemp, and that hemp paper can be re-used 7 times in comparison to tree's 3.

I am yet again, the eccentric girl.

but thats okay by me ^.^

I just had this horrible nightmare about myself doing a presentation on the culture of criminals with my key point being that the government is stealing from the gulf Islands. It actually could have gone really well, but I managed to screw it up. I was being articulate tough, so that was nice.
Awk-ward.
Good topic though.

Brownie camp was fun fun fun. I talked to them about glaciers, bats, and we sung crazy drinking moose songs.
However, I rather dislike..... MY HISTORY CLASS right now. I mean, sure canadian history whatever.... but All I have to say is:

Dear Department of History,
I hate the way you make me use footnotes, instead of APA. I hate Chicago. I hate it. You suck.
from Kate.

(Who will never major in History because she hates it, and will probably switch faculties to Social Sciences rather than the Humanities that she is in now, to never ever foot note again. Those crazy kids in Social Sci know where its at. )

In more interesting news, I think everyone is a little stressed right now, no matter if they are at school or not, so I send you all wonderful happy thoughts. Do something nice for someone else, feel good, and (if you believe) let the karma (or any such similar thing) come back to help you and make you feel wonderfully, deliciously good about yourself.


And one of my favourite quotes from Robert Frost:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by, and that
has made all the difference"

Its been an interesting last week- the other day I saw one of UVic's sociology prof's talking to this little girl living on the street. She looked to be about 12. It hurt my heart. Later on in the same day, I was on the 50 heading back to the 'burbs when I saw a woman sitting at a bus stop just bawling.
What crossed my mind was, what emotion. Emotion.
Have we all gotten to a place where the world is void of emotion? Supression is encouraged, stress overwhelms many. At school today I wandered through the library, tension and stress were tangible upon the air. No one visibly shows their discomfort however, until they reach a point- a breaking point. No one just stands in the middle of the quad as I have wanted to do for so many times, and just yell up into the busy walking people around the campus- surrounded by thousands-
"I'm here, and I'm not a failure"
It just isn't done.
So we all move on, supposedly bettered for it walking in the silence of thousands of people around us. The joys of being in a society- we give up some of our rights to benefit from the society. If only we could all group together, share lifes joys and sorrows. Everyone deserves to be loved, and everyone deserves the right to feel loved, and if we aren't expressing ourselves, it is we who are missing out.

I found a lucky penny today. I left it for someone else to find; I'll make my own luck.

1. Thanks Pam!!
2. List 5 random/strange/weird things about you.
1) I used to have an imaginary friend called SantaCoco. He was my 'brother' and he lived under the kitchen table, and through him I could talk to my dead Grandfather, and my Dad when he was at sea (which was most of my childhood come to think of it. I always felt strange when he was home more than 3 months of the year)
2) I love getting up early, but I hate having to wake up
3) People I know make me anxious, and so do strangers, they all make me feel like I am not good enough or smart enough. But that being said, I hate being alone.
4) I can only have an alarm clock with a red display, I cannot sleep if its green or blue
5) when I get nervous, tired, annoyed or sick I get hyper. oh. and so does caffeine. does that sound familiar to everyone I grad'ed with? I don't think I've ever seen you all look so worried about me before.

3. Tag 5 other people
Too lazaaay, and I think everyone has been tagged. If ya wanna do it again, than, its all yours, you know the rules to the game....

People bother me. Its the people who get the closest to you and then say something nasty, and they know exactly where you are vulnerable; conciously or subconciously. I think subconciously I know all this and avoid being friends with people because, to put it quite simply, I do not want to get hurt anymore.

I sometimes wonder what everyone else is thinking, then I come on to this, and look around. People are thinking the same as I. People are as lonely as I, people miss the memories of Belmont as much as I. I went down to belmont yesterday, and not much has changed. The school smells funny, the floor looks odd, and things stick to your shoes when you walk. I could blend in with the walk like I never left, yet I forgot to watch where I walked. The dirty floors of belmont almost represent my life. I ran into people and had a coffee with brian after, but man, do I ever miss a memory. Things are a changing darlings. And I dont know if I like it or not. I am alone, and what can I do about it? Almost nothing. So I continue on with my bland old tea bag of a life, and hope that the inkstains get better, and the absence will wither away.

I dont know how long this will last, especially after I just deleted the last one. Gah.